Well, thanks to your friend, the media, that dream has drastically changed. There is a show about every single aspect of the wedding. We can pick out our wedding gowns, watch brides judge each other's weddings, find bridezilla. We see celebrities with rings that get bigger by the day. We can google wedding dresses, the perfect ring, dresses for the bridesmaids, the flower girl, the cake, the wedding colors, ceremony venue, reception venue, invitations, honeymoon spots...there is nothing you can't plan about your wedding while you are completely single
But how much time do we spend planning out the "happily ever after"? We want a groom and we want to be a bride. But do we really want to be a wife? What if we spent as much time fantasizing about our marriage as we did about our weddings? And not "I can't wait to be married to have shared assets." Or "I want a woman to do the chores around the house" or "I hope I find someone to make enough money so I can go to the country club all day" or "I can't wait to have regular sex" or "I'll be able to be a mommy". But really about our marriage and what we want out of a partner-not just how they will look in our wedding pictures.
Our wedding day has become so much bigger than our marriage. It is one day, and we are obsessed with it. But what about the rest of the days, when there is no dress, no photographer, no perfect pictures, no cake, no champagne, no DJ, no toasts, no presents? We worry more about rain on our wedding day than divorce in our marriage.
Everyone wants to be a bride, and even if you are saying you don't, you are lying. You want a day all about you looking and feeling fabulous, people giving you presents, having fun with all your family and friends. It is easy, regardless of how stressful we make planning perfection. Do you want a wedding or a marriage? If it's the former, plan a really big, extravagant, ridiculously expensive party. Wear white. Have a DJ. Or even a band. Dance with your father. Cut your cake. Dance the night away.
There are plenty of reasons thrown out as to why the divorce rates have increased. I'm not saying any of this is a direct cause or isn't a direct cause. But I'm sure the wedding build up doesn't help the chances for our marriages.
I really agree with this. I've been noticing how many of my friends/classmates are getting married, and all they talk about is "The Big Day." Not many talk about spending their lives with the man who gave them the big rock. Interesting blog post. :-)
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Also, PS, please don't judge my "nickname..." I made this account when I was 14 and can't change it. :-(
Preach it sister! I wonder if adopting more of this attitude would decrease divorce rates. I would think so, and that would be great. Happy marriages make happy people make happy families make happy towns make happy countries.
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