The 80/20 Rule

I recently was having a pity party with my chocolate covered pretzels and got sucked into a black film. As a scrawny ass white girl, black films aren’t really my style. And yet there I was, watching a movie called “Why Did I Get Married?” Just me and my chocolate covered pretzels. So this movie introduced me to a rule called the 80/20 rule and I rather like it.

The premise of the 80/20 rule is that we for some reason expect another person to give us 100% of what we need in life. This, however, is impossible. No one person is absolutely perfect and can fulfill and understand our needs, wants, and desires 100% of the time. And let’s be honest, that would be a really boring relationship. What would you argue over? (And yes, I love a good argument. I could never be with someone who didn’t fight for me and fight with me. I am wrong and flawed. Call me out on it you pansy.)

So here’s the deal. We should expect our partner to meet 80% of our needs. That’s a reasonable request. And here is where it relates to my previous post. We cheat because we hope that another person can fulfill the missing 20%. And then we will have our needs met 100%. The issue is the time spent with your 20% will ruin your relationship with the 80%. Even if the 80% doesn’t know, you will know that things have fallen below 80% and you’re still not truly at 100% fulfillment. Many times, we will leave our 80% for a new fling. At first it is fun and exciting until we realize they are only 20% and we gave up something 4 times greater. Or our 80% will leave us when they find out about our 20% fling. And sometimes, we lose both. And they both find someone else who fulfills 80% of their needs.

80/20 rule. Don’t jeopardize your 80 for 20.