Why the institution of marriage sucks

Marriages fail because it is so much easier to suck at them and get out then put in any effort. Our generation sucks in the area of effort. We cheat on each other, we fight, we stay together for the kids, we got married for the sex, we got married because everyone said to, we end up hating each other, we stop having sex, we change, we bring someone else into the bedroom, we have an excuse for everything, we start sleeping in separate beds, we don’t communicate, we’re afraid to admit there is a problem, we get divorced. Why?

I don’t think the answer is we didn’t think marriage would be this hard. We try our best to imagine how hard it might be. I don’t believe divorce is the indicator that a marriage failed. Yes, now there is an out from the marriage. But marriages were failing long before it was “okay” to get divorced. People just stayed miserably in them for the sake of reputation. But the marriage, the love was gone. Two people just shared assets. And why?

We were not meant to succeed in marriage. No other species attempts to have a monogamous relationship for the rest of their life. They procreate. That’s how long the attraction needs to last. We are animals. We were not meant to be married. It is a man made institution and practice, not something that occurs in nature. Sex occurs in nature. Commitment does not. I’m only discussing nature, not religion. I know, we have emotions that other animals do not. But I think that commitments for life are not innate.

We hear marriage is hard and there will be rough times and days you want to quit. We are as prepared for that as possible. But we have decided to ignore that marriage isn’t natural. It is supernatural. It will be the toughest thing because it goes against everything we should naturally do. Not all marriages succeed because supernatural things can’t occur for everyone. They weren’t meant to occur for everyone but society has told us marriage is in all of our destinies. That’s hard to believe.

And in my religious view, I think God wanted us to enter into marriage, something completely against out nature, in order to test us. And we weren’t all meant to succeed. He knew we would not all be willing to go so against nature for someone else but if we could fight nature for another person, it would be the most rewarding experience of our lives here.

I know man was not meant to be alone. But I don’t know if that means he was meant to be married. Back in the day sure when marriage was for sex and procreation. But now that I think about it, what man doesn’t see endless sex as a reason to get married and what woman doesn’t see it as her opportunity to procreate?

So once those goals are complete, what is left? We can have endless sex and get knocked up without getting married. So why do we keep getting married if its not in our nature to have that sort of commitment and so few people have the will or ability to ignore nature?

(note: I hope to defy nature for another person. I just don’t know if we all have that desire)