Promise Rings

One of the most ridiculous ideas.

If you’ve ever had one or bought one for someone else, I’m here to tell you how moronic you are. And yes, I hope you take it personally.

I am talking promise rings in relationships. If you or your parents felt the urge to put a ring on your finger about waiting to have sex for marriage or true love, I’m not here to attack you even though I do believe it says something about you if you feel a band on your finger is necessary to shun guys away because you didn’t have the sexual control to do it yourself. If you made a promise to your God about it, I don’t think you needed a ring to let people know. Is the ring there for you or for someone else? Also, how many awesome Christians did I know in high school who still got banged 6 different ways a week with the damn ring on their finger? (obviously not on Sundays though)

So promise rings. You’re engaged to be engaged. Who in the hell came up with this bright idea.

Things a promise ring to me promises:

-I promise I cannot afford a real ring at this time

-I promise I am not ready to be engaged

-I promise to drop the marriage discussion for a while if you put a promise ring on my finger

-I promise to consider ending up with you for at least another 3 months

-I promise we are too young but maybe this piece of jewelry will get me laid

Isn’t the point of dating to figure out if you can be in a relationship? And then during the relationship at some point don’t you have to start considering if you could stay with this kid for forever? Or did I completely miss the point of dating and being in a relationship? We can just assume I’m right though for the sake of this argument. So why then are you putting a ring on my finger that says I promise to continue figuring out how I feel about you? I am anticipating that you are doing that. I’m hoping you are doing that. Because if you have it figured out, dump me or propose.