PDA- Pathetically Disgusting and Awkward

As a high school teacher-to-be, I see love blossoming in all forms of public displays of affection on a daily basis. There is nothing more awkward than insecure 16 year olds marking their territory on each other by making out at any and every possible moment in front of everyone. Maybe I’m old fashioned but I have never wanted you to display any of your affection for me in public. I’ll hold your hand. Maybe.

Let’s be honest: when I was 15 and 16, I had braces and acne and was unbearably skinny and underdeveloped. So I missed out on the whole PDA stage in high school partly by force but also by choice. But you don’t have to be around high schoolers to see PDA. Just go to your local bar, mall, restaurant, public hang out. It’s people of all ages. While in New Orleans, I saw 60 year olds getting way too freaky on a bar stool. If they could procreate, it might have happened that night.

Perhaps I’m over confident but I don’t believe I need to have my tongue down your throat so that other ladies will stay away. And honestly, I don't really care if they stay away. I'm flattered if they want you, just as long as you know well enough to stay away.

Don’t get me wrong. I have been drunk and made some moves in my day. But bitches are getting too territorial and crazy with their PDA for me. How insecure are you in your relationship? Why are you trying to get horizontal in front of me? Are you always in the mood or just in the mood to let everyone know to stay away from your significant other? With how public relationships are in this technological/social media/facebook official age, is anything private in relationships anymore?

Promise Rings

One of the most ridiculous ideas.

If you’ve ever had one or bought one for someone else, I’m here to tell you how moronic you are. And yes, I hope you take it personally.

I am talking promise rings in relationships. If you or your parents felt the urge to put a ring on your finger about waiting to have sex for marriage or true love, I’m not here to attack you even though I do believe it says something about you if you feel a band on your finger is necessary to shun guys away because you didn’t have the sexual control to do it yourself. If you made a promise to your God about it, I don’t think you needed a ring to let people know. Is the ring there for you or for someone else? Also, how many awesome Christians did I know in high school who still got banged 6 different ways a week with the damn ring on their finger? (obviously not on Sundays though)

So promise rings. You’re engaged to be engaged. Who in the hell came up with this bright idea.

Things a promise ring to me promises:

-I promise I cannot afford a real ring at this time

-I promise I am not ready to be engaged

-I promise to drop the marriage discussion for a while if you put a promise ring on my finger

-I promise to consider ending up with you for at least another 3 months

-I promise we are too young but maybe this piece of jewelry will get me laid

Isn’t the point of dating to figure out if you can be in a relationship? And then during the relationship at some point don’t you have to start considering if you could stay with this kid for forever? Or did I completely miss the point of dating and being in a relationship? We can just assume I’m right though for the sake of this argument. So why then are you putting a ring on my finger that says I promise to continue figuring out how I feel about you? I am anticipating that you are doing that. I’m hoping you are doing that. Because if you have it figured out, dump me or propose.

Why the institution of marriage sucks

Marriages fail because it is so much easier to suck at them and get out then put in any effort. Our generation sucks in the area of effort. We cheat on each other, we fight, we stay together for the kids, we got married for the sex, we got married because everyone said to, we end up hating each other, we stop having sex, we change, we bring someone else into the bedroom, we have an excuse for everything, we start sleeping in separate beds, we don’t communicate, we’re afraid to admit there is a problem, we get divorced. Why?

I don’t think the answer is we didn’t think marriage would be this hard. We try our best to imagine how hard it might be. I don’t believe divorce is the indicator that a marriage failed. Yes, now there is an out from the marriage. But marriages were failing long before it was “okay” to get divorced. People just stayed miserably in them for the sake of reputation. But the marriage, the love was gone. Two people just shared assets. And why?

We were not meant to succeed in marriage. No other species attempts to have a monogamous relationship for the rest of their life. They procreate. That’s how long the attraction needs to last. We are animals. We were not meant to be married. It is a man made institution and practice, not something that occurs in nature. Sex occurs in nature. Commitment does not. I’m only discussing nature, not religion. I know, we have emotions that other animals do not. But I think that commitments for life are not innate.

We hear marriage is hard and there will be rough times and days you want to quit. We are as prepared for that as possible. But we have decided to ignore that marriage isn’t natural. It is supernatural. It will be the toughest thing because it goes against everything we should naturally do. Not all marriages succeed because supernatural things can’t occur for everyone. They weren’t meant to occur for everyone but society has told us marriage is in all of our destinies. That’s hard to believe.

And in my religious view, I think God wanted us to enter into marriage, something completely against out nature, in order to test us. And we weren’t all meant to succeed. He knew we would not all be willing to go so against nature for someone else but if we could fight nature for another person, it would be the most rewarding experience of our lives here.

I know man was not meant to be alone. But I don’t know if that means he was meant to be married. Back in the day sure when marriage was for sex and procreation. But now that I think about it, what man doesn’t see endless sex as a reason to get married and what woman doesn’t see it as her opportunity to procreate?

So once those goals are complete, what is left? We can have endless sex and get knocked up without getting married. So why do we keep getting married if its not in our nature to have that sort of commitment and so few people have the will or ability to ignore nature?

(note: I hope to defy nature for another person. I just don’t know if we all have that desire)

Gay Views From a Straight Girl

Well kiddos, I am currently on the heartland flyer- the passenger train from Norman to fort worth. Hopefully getting my poor wrecked car back today and also celebrating my dad being super old now (okay he is only 50. Oh and I had a student of mine tell me it’s weird my dad waited until 25 to have kids. “you white people wait too long to have babies.” Dear god she probably expects me to have children in the next year.)

So on to my offensive and questionable thoughts of the day.
Being gay. Oh yeah. I just went there. Nothing alienates people as easily as talking about gays. But anyone who has the desire to read my thoughts shouldn’t be shocked. After living in the great states of Texas and Oklahoma for the last 15 years of my life, I am most often surrounded by conservative folk who would like to take their shotguns out and hunt them there homosexuals and their sodomy ways.

I’m not even going to go into gay marriage. That’s blasphemy. And someone would probably send satan an e-mail telling him to make sure he’s saved enough space my little butt. This is just about the choice, the art of being gay.

So being gay as a choice. Now that is just hysterical.
1. I know deviance exists. But why in the hell would so many people “choose a lifestyle” that so many people would hate them for? Do people want hate crimes committed against them just because of whom they love? Doubtful. Who chooses to be something that could lose you your family, friends, church, job? Who chooses to be attracted to someone you cannot marry? Someone you cannot kiss or hold hands with or have pictures in your office with without being ostracized? Who chooses any of that? That seems like a very stupid conscious decision to make.

2. I do not remember choosing to be straight. Do you? I never sat down and made a pro con list. (see above. If you did, you would choose straight for the sake of making life easy) So if I never had to have that conversation with myself, why are we assuming gays do? I have always liked boys. I have never questioned that, as I’m sure you know if you’re reading this. No one loves boys as much as I do. I know some people question their sexuality because they can be confused by society’s straight agenda vs. their desires vs. who is giving them attention. And plenty of people experiment. But I never chose to be straight. And you could never convince me I was gay. I’m just not. I never had a day where I realized oh I have the urge to kiss you because you have different parts than me. It just happened It’s the way I am. And as a straight white middle class female, everyone just accepts that. No one questions it or makes me feel bad about my sexual preferences. Why then do we question the preferences of others?

Okay I said I wouldn’t but I will. Gays should not be married because we do not want to the ruin the sanctity of marriage. The sanctity of marriage. You have got to be kidding. What is the divorce rate in this country? What is the rate of infidelity? Marriage was meant to be a man and woman. Well people, marriage was also supposed to be a commitment for life. And its purpose was so that it was okay to have sex and procreate. Straight people, on average, suck at marriage. Maybe we should give other people the chance to get it right?