Why don’t we date? We are single or in a relationship, but not dating. Dating has become this ugly word. And dating around might as well mean you are sleeping around. But why?
Back in the day, (I know, how old do I sound? And yes, of course it was a Wednesday…) you dated multiple people at a time. It was how you figured out what you liked in another person. And you dated multiple people at the same time to discover which one you were drawn to. And THEN you started going steady. Why are we now so driven towards monogamy so quickly?
I’ll admit it, I date around. And no, that in no way has sexual connotations. In reality, isn’t that how you should get to know someone? Today, we text to get to know people. What in the heck is that and why is that okay? Don’t get me wrong, no one is a bigger texter than I am. But I think that it’s silly and wrong. And here is why: every time a girl is about to hang out with a guy who she has been texting regularly, she calls all of her girlfriends to go “okay I know I text him like all the time but what if its really awkward in person since we’ve barely interacted in person?” And guess what, it IS awkward because through texting you have somehow uncovered who you expect the person to be in a nonthreatening setting. You find out what they do for a living, what they majored in, where they live, their birthday, their favorite color, their favorite drink, what music they listen to, the type of movies they like, if they are a morning or night person, the simple things that make them happy, etc. And then you hang out and go “well shit, we have covered every normal conversation at this point.” And your whole interaction is awkward and strange as if you’ve stalked the person and already know their preferences so you stage everything to do what you already know they like. The odds of you actually getting along with them are not that great. Everyone can be fun and flirty and talkative behind a phone screen, but personal interactions are what actually matter.
So why aren’t we dating around? Why don’t we give/get each other’s numbers just to set up dates? Instead we are in a relationship with our phones, not the person at the other end of them. We are constantly looking for the phone to light up to make our day with a picture, a text, a phone call, a joke, an anything. It’s safe and easy. I know. It’s convenient. You talk to them when you can. But just think of how many more meals we could share with someone if we actually got to know each other in person! You skip the awkward interaction after too much texting. You know instantly if you have chemistry. You find out if you could spend the rest of your life sitting across the table from this person. And trust me, yes you do know within 3 meals if they have a shot.
Also, you can text me nonstop for days, but I assure you the guy who texts me once or twice and then is showing up at my door to take me out for a date is the one I know is interested in me.
So here’s my proposition, the next guy or girl you meet out, get their number or give your number. But after the first couple of texts, grow a sack, put yourself out there, and say hey, do you wanna grab a bite to eat, get coffee, etc. sometime late this week. Don’t waste your time texting 4 different people for weeks when you could learn so much more in 4 different dates. Stop dating your phone, start dating each other. And as many of each other as you possibly can before the settle down bug bites you hard.
